Stop Avoiding

When we avoid situations, we continue a pattern of self-doubt and worry.


Certain situations can be associated with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety.  Such as needing to confront a situation, talk with your spouse about responsibilities or concerns, give a public speech, or doing math problems.  If your tendency is to be worried and pessimistic, your response may be to take a step back to avoid the situation or to try and tip toe around the point.  This leads to self-doubt.  Worry does not empty you of your troubles, it empties you of your strength.

 We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.

Being intentional about how you talk to yourself when you are feeling stressed can build your strength.  Research suggests that reframing the once worried thoughts with more positive and encouraging thoughts helps you to act.  When you are encouraged about taking on a situation you perform better.  When you sit with the difficulties in life and encourage yourself to act, rather than running away or avoiding, you will be transformed.

So how do you put this into action in your life?

The next time you face a situation where you feel nervous, rather than focusing on all the worst-case scenarios, tell yourself that you are choosing to step up to the situation and forward into growth.  Instead of choosing to step back into safety, you are motivated to take on the opportunity.  The opportunity to further your career, your marriage, or your friendship.  If you focus on the present moment and not on the what-ifs of life, you step forward into development of self and possibilities.  You will perform better and build your confidence for future opportunities.


Sara Kuehler, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health and tagged , , , .